Anybody
been following the budget crisis in Washington, DC? I know nobody really seems to care. I on the other hand I'm a political
junkie. I use to strive for a life in
politics. But I found that the art of
politics is looking busy and getting nothing done. Think of Washington as a high school
classroom. They know they have work to
do, but wait to the last minute to turn it in.
This is a group of people who, like many students, do just enough to
pass. Every couple of years we re-elect
the same group that hasn't really accomplished anything.
Any way I
live for this stuff because I don't trust the government. I always worry what
they’re up too and what rights they want to take away from us. I was watching
some of the budget debate on C-SPAN. It seems that our representatives have
come up with a new targeted tax that is guaranteed to raise revenue, the Penis
Tax. There was much debate as to whether it should be a progressive tax, a flat
tax or a user tax. Most of the debate in
regards to a user’s tax was the possibility of expanding the tax to women, but
the female members in the house had no interest in this revenue source,
typical. Well, they were more concerned with how it would be used, not
necessarily the size of the revenue generated.
Also some questions were raised about masturbation. How would that be regulated? That line of debate was dropped once it was
suggested that anything doing with master baiting would have to be referred to
the Department Fish and Wildlife. There
was a fear that the bill would get stuck in committee and nothing would come of
it.
Finally it
was decided that a simple flat tax would be the simplest solution to the
problem. The tax would be based on the
size of the male's member. This lead to
some concerns from the black caucus that this would be discriminatory. After some give and take an agreement was
reached that penises 7 inches and longer would be taxed $100 per year. Penises less than 7 inches would be taxed at
a rate of $50 per year.
It is
assumed that all males will pay the $100, giving the United States of America
almost fifteen billion dollars in tax revenue.
Guys will wear their tax receipt like a badge on their clothing or a
laminated card in their wallet.
"Hey baby, I just paid my penis tax," displaying their card or
receipt to the women next to them. Of course you can bet that the trail lawyers
will be lining up to file the fraud cases that dissatisfied women will file
when their date doesn't measure up. Well there is no such thing as a perfect.